Ramblings

It seems like my impetigo has been here forever now, like it's just another part of me. I have started to forget what it's like to leave the house whenever I choose, having a new daily routine that I can change at a whim. Not getting up early for work should feel like luxury, but it feels more like I am trapped. Trapped against a desire for normality. Locked in a makeshift prison, albeit a very lovely one with a private garden!

Since I have been off work I have dreamt of going back, turning up and not having the inevitable questions "how are you?" "I haven't seen you in a while, where have you been?". Not that people showing compassion for me is a bad thing but when you prefer to be the wallflower it can be hard to answer a lot of questions.

I'm starting to hope now that I am finally get better, but every time I think I'm getting there my skin has other ideas.

I wanted to start writing these thoughts down as a way to take charge of my life as it stands, I also wanted to be able to document my struggles with the way my skin changes each week. Having a problem with my skin like this has made me feel ashamed. I'm ashamed when I venture out of the house to get prescriptions like I need to hide how I look so people don't stare at me.

It's interesting how much thought we put into what strangers are going to think of us for dealing with something out of our control. I think we are all guilty of thoughts about the way other people look. I also struggle with going out as I think that if someone I know sees me out they might question why I can't go to work. For now my focus needs to be on me and learning to change the way I think about myself. The sooner I can implement a more positive attitude towards myself the sooner my body can heal.

As I sit here contemplating what to write, I am hoping that there aren't many others out there suffering like I am. However, if there are and you happen to see this, feel free to contact me.

Intro to my impetigo.

So this is a completely different post from anything I've ever written about. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a pretty private person, really only opening up to a handful of people. Why? Mostly because I deem my life too uninteresting to talk about but partly because sharing makes me vulnerable and I really don't like that feeling.

So why am I telling you this? Well since 7th January I have been off work sick with impetigo on my face. Yes you read that right, as I am currently writing this it is day 49 of a staphylococcus infection on my face! I am also telling you all this because as the days go on I am beginning to feel more isolated and alone than I ever thought possible. Searching the Internet for answers to my questions or looking for someone else who has gone through (and survived!) something similar has proved all but fruitless.

I have decided that maybe if I attempt to explain what I am currently going through there may be some small chance that it could help someone else, and if it doesn't it at least gives me something to do other than watch endless Netflix!

If you have stumbled upon this blog, hello I welcome you with open arms but no hugging as I'm still contagious at this time.

New Blog

I have a new blog now on Tumblr. This blog is no longer in use.

Instagram 366 week 7

February 13th

Instagram 366 week 6

It's starting to get harder to be bothered some days, and it shows! But I will persevere!

February 6th

Instagram 366 week 5

January 30th

Instagram 366 week 4

A testing week full of ups and downs but hopefully this week will get better.

January 23rd

Instagram 366 Week 3

It's been pretty hard keeping up with this as I've been working loads and not finishing till late. I'm pleased to say I haven't missed a day yet. It's been a challenge to make myself find something new to take a photo of but I really like how it has opened my eyes to see the world differently.

January 16th

Instagram 366 Week 2

January 8th

Instagram 366 Week 1 (continued)

January 3rd